i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
