so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
