bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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