Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
