I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
