I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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