I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize