I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
