he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
