Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
