i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
