I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize