I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You dont lie about slip and slides
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
