And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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