No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
