i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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