is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
birth control should be required to get into college
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
