The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
