I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
