So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
