Soap is not a condiment
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
