He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
