I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I AM VODKA MAN
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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