i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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