I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
