69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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