$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
