Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
