I hate your face
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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