Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
