Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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