My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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