Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize