did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
