You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
