oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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