why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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