That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
