I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
