it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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