That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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