No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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