Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So much Jack, so little girl.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize