Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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