The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Of course I have a pirate flag
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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