You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
