I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
