I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Randomize
