he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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