Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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