My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
