on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize