69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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