Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
