She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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