Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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