I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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