your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
