I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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