So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
