Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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