Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I am available for nakedness
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
