I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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