If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
