Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
