so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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