He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize