I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
