I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
