Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
