dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
