Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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