he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
